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But these roles are not limited gender-wise: Men, too, can want to be dominated, and women can want to dominate. In the world of S&M, which is part of a larger sphere of sexual play called BDSM [bondage and discipline (BD), dominance and submission (DS), and sadism and masochism (SM)], couples call the shots, set their limitations and engage in whatever makes them feel the sexiest, even if it’s absurdly politically incorrect.